What Is Inner Child Work?
A Psychological approach deals with persons who have suffered trauma, abuse, or neglect (in or out of the family) early in life. If you’re reading this, a part of you still craves attention.
Inner Child Work combines attachment, somatic, Jungian Shadow, Internal Family Systems, and psychodynamic theories. According to several of these philosophies or styles of treatment, there is hope and opportunity for new relationships to be forged, both inside and outside.
What makes an inner child work?
As you walk through this process, you will be able to uncover buried sorrow that is still hurting you and utilize it to influence your decision-making. To heal our wounds, we must be able to access them. If you have experienced early trauma, recognizing your inner child may help you recover by acknowledging and gently caring for their scars.
What are the signs that my inner child is hurting?
Have you observed any troubling patterns in your interactions with other people? When you have childhood scars, it is expected that these will affect your relationships.
The more personal the connection, the more probable it is that you will have significant difficulties in vulnerability, trust, bonding, dispute resolution, and maintaining control of your nervous system.
Benefits of the inner child work
There are a lot of benefits to this work. Some of the benefits are following
Throwing tantrums can be stopped.
One thing you may have heard about when it comes to emotional meltdowns is the trigger. That is something you should know. Triggers are memories, connections, and tales that have been stored in the subconscious and operate as tripwires. Suppose someone says or does anything, or even clothes in a specific manner, and it reminds you of a previous traumatic experience. In that case, the primitive portion of your brain will raise the alert.
Your emotions, thoughts, and neurological system are all hijacked, and you either shut down totally or fight the person who has hijacked them. The term “protest behavior” refers to these activities in relationships. Although they are often intended to promote intimacy, offer comfort, or meet a need, they frequently have the opposite effect.
In addition, what I refer to as paradoxical rage may be responsible for some types of outbursts, such as the suppressed anger at our parents that we were unable to express entirely as children. How could we be angry at those we relied on for our survival but betrayed our trust, breached our safety, and crossed our boundaries.
You will be able to avoid these outbursts by reprogramming your triggers and releasing the anger that has built up inside you during this inner child work.
You can re-parent yourself.
As soon as you know how you didn’t meet your developmental dependency needs, you can start taking care of them independently. This is being your own excellent parent. As an adult, you can detect and satisfy unmet dependency needs.
This method enables you to take on your parent’s role by consciously dealing with the trauma you experienced as a child. You learn to provide yourself with as much loving attention as you require to heal yourself.
To connect to the inner child like a good parent does to their kids, offering discipline, limitations, boundaries and structure. These are essential characteristics of loving and living with any kid, whether metaphorical or actual.
And you don’t have to rely on anyone else to accomplish this.
Put an end to repeating the past.
In unhealthy, codependent relationships, two individuals subconsciously pick each other and reenact harmful childhood events.
We had no option but to adore our parents when we were young, helpless, and reliant. It’s our fault if there’s turmoil, retribution, or misery! We absorbed self-beliefs and devised techniques to gain what we needed from our parents.
When we carry these methods into adulthood and our relationships, we unintentionally revert to our childhood strategies, reproducing the environment in which we grew up. In the same way that sheep follow the same scripts, we act out the same roles and invite the same behaviors that conform to our expectations.
Engaging in this inner child work may better understand the difference between a known script and a conscious choice. We can assure our inner child that he is secure via our re-parenting practice, eliminating the need for these harmful coping mechanisms.
You can learn to value yourself.
Our worth is determined by our accomplishments rather than our individuality when we live in a dysfunctional, role-based family environment. Our gifts, characteristics, abilities, and identities are suppressed in favor of those that are advantageous to the parents.
A parent’s lack of parental mirroring or the denial of their skills, abilities and identity might lead them to rely on their kid for narcissistic supply.
Consequently, one of the children will be designated as the “Star” of the family. They overachieve whether in academics, athletics, or money matters and make it seem like their own decision. On the other hand, this conduct is driven by a never-ending desire to please their parents and maintain the balance of the family dynamic.
By valuing and championing your inner child, you can let go of this false belief that value comes from outside of you. Make sure your Wounded Child knows he is essential just as he is: unique and special. There is a reason why he was hurt in the first place.
Your true self can be discovered.
We lost touch with our “Wonder Child” when we embraced the False Self of our family system role. This Wonder Child reflects our childhood fun, spontaneity, curiosity, and healthy shamelessness.